Battling the roots of materialism by focusing on happiness

According to a recent study, materialism in pre-teens and teenagers may actually be linked to low self-esteem. The study, which measured materialism by looking at what kinds of pictures young people included when asked to make collages of "what makes me happy," found that when kids read compliments about themselves from their peers before making the collages, the level of materialism they displayed dropped dramatically.

So the study appears to suggest that even though many young people think having consumer goods is what makes them happy, if they start to feel better about themselves their focus will shift to non-materialistic priorities like friends and family. In other words, if a teen you know is begging for pricey items, you may be better off spending more quality time with them-- boosting their self-esteem, and thus increasing their relative appreciation of your company compared to the material goods-- rather than spending that extra time earning the money to buy them what they want.

I wouldn't be surprised if this applies more generally to most of us. I know a lot of people have patterns of turning to shopping when they're feeling stressed or unhappy or lonely; I don't really have cravings to buy clothes or books or electronics, but for me it's sometimes a weakness for fancy overpriced food or drinks that I'd otherwise avoid (but I think it's a money-rooted issue for me rather than a food dynamic-- I'm not thinking "It's okay to indulge in this yummy food because eating it will make me feel better," I'm thinking "It's okay to spend a little money on myself because I feel lousy and I deserve a nice treat to make me feel better.") But after we spend, we don't usually actually feel any better, at least in any permanent way.

The things that actually make us happy, according to happiness research, aren't material items. Having more money doesn't usually make us significantly happier (unless our basic needs aren't being met and it's a matter of getting out of poverty)-- even though the studies find that almost all of us think we'd be much happier if we earned more money.

The things that actually increase our happiness most are things like close relationships with friends and family, good health, a sense of control over our own lives, the "flow" state that comes when we're accomplishing challenging and fulfilling things, and getting enough exercise and sleep. Sure, money and material objects can help us achieve some of those things to some extent. But focusing on money can also interfere with many of those things-- especially if we forget it's supposed to be the means to an end (happiness!) and start thinking about it like an end itself.

In other words, when we find ourselves feeling materialistic, we'd be well-served to wonder if we're like the teens in the study, and if what we really need is to find better ways to feel happy and good about ourselves. But also on the other side of the coin, when we find ourselves spending our precious time on earning more money, maybe we should be asking whether we're making the best investment in our happiness and that of our loved ones. Do we need all that money to cover our real honest needs and feel reasonably secure about the future? Or are we being bad predictors of what will really make us happy?

As for me? I've been feeling more and more like my life isn't quite how it ought to be. I like my job. But I work more hours than I wish I did, I sock money in the bank, and I tell myself it's great because it'll give me more freedom to pursue my dreams in the future. But right now, today, I'm not as happy as I could be. I'm not investing enough time in my friendships, or in the kind of meaningful hobbies that get me in the "flow" state-- I get home tired and stressed and I veg (watch TV, waste time online, etc.) I think I need to realign my time but I haven't figured out yet what my next steps are...

How about you? Do you get caught in patterns of spending and/or working that don't really fundamentally make you happier? How have you succeeded (or failed) at getting that under control?